What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

Does a person lie just to lie? What do lies really mean? Is the person scared? Is the person just trying to get what she wants? Was she subjected to lies when she was little? Does she have a disorder?

When asked what personality trait in people raises a red flag with me my mind immediately goes to lying. I believe it is the fact that I am currently dealing with this in my life with other people. I decided to sit back and really think about this personality trait, why this trait bothers me so much, and why people lie.

I know I’m not the only person out there who has been lied to. When I’m lied to there’s an automatic lack of trust. Every time that person tells me something going forward I’m always going to second guess them. Lying also creates a sense of disloyalty. If a person lies to me about one thing what else are they going to lie to me about. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure everyone has told a lie even if it’s that little white lie. I know we all try not to lie, but honestly I think some people get caught up in the moment and sometimes it slips out. You might have lied and not even realized you did until later. If you’ve never lied then I want to shake your hand.

Now the big question…why do people lie? I know from experience with people I know that they may lie because of their past. She might have been raised in a family where lying was acceptable. Maybe she witnessed one parent lying to another parent multiple times. This is why parents need to be extremely careful what they subject their kids to.

Others may lie to get out of “trouble.” I find this reason and the one above to be the main reasons that children lie. Children the majority of the time lie out of fear. This may also be true for men or women who feel their life is endangered.

Let’s think about this. As a child you saw your mother verbally abuse your siblings and you saw your father physically abuse your mother. Your Dad was about to catch you in a lie, but you hurried to tell another lie because your Dad was about to tear your butt up as we say in the south. You experience many more instances similar to this. At this point lies are a part of your daily survival or maybe the daily survival of another family member.

Listen, I know this may be an extreme situation, but is it really? Think about it and let it sink in. When you were younger did you experience situations like this or did you know someone who experienced similar situations, but maybe not as extreme. If everyone of us experienced this or knew someone who did, then maybe this is not as an extreme of a scenario as we may think.

People who suffer from certain disorders may be prone to lie. Disorders such as personality disorders and as mentioned above situations that may have caused PTSD may lead a person to lie more often than not.

Now I’m not saying to take every lie as a grain of salt, because there are some people that lie to impress or lie to manipulate others. I’m also not saying that if a person lies to you over and over again that it’s okay, because it’s not. It’s also not okay for someone to constantly bring negativity into your life.

If a person has a disorder recognize it. Do not dismiss it. If you feel you can help that person, then help. If you feel the person needs more help than you can provide point that person in the right direction.

If lying is a personality trait that throws up a red flag for you, then recognize it and be more conscious about the steps and actions that you take towards that person and the situation. The next time you catch a person lying to you sit back and ask yourself why this person is lying to you. Is the person suffering from a disorder? Is something else going on with the person where maybe more attention and additional questions are needed. Is this person in danger?

Help where you can and show some grace where and when it is needed. Not everyone lies just to lie. Try to be the best version of you and try to help someone else be a better version of themselves.

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