What are you doing this evening?

Today one year ago is a day I will never forget. It was a day my husband and I waited for and waited for. Prior to that day we had tried for 12 years to have a child. There were so many ups and downs and emotional setbacks that went along with this. Here is part of our story.

My husband and I went through several tests and visits with a fertility specialist. When we received some of the results the fertility specialist told us if we were planning to have a child we needed to do it now. We were told we would probably have the best outcome with IVF.

The doctor talked about the IVF process. He mentioned they would probably need to implant at least 4 embryos in order for at least one to stick and develop. Then he mentioned the chance of twins or multiples. My palms started to sweat. I started rocking back and forth in the chair and of course I had all types of thoughts racing through my mind. I was not comfortable with the thought of more than one child at a time. My husband actually laughs at me because my motto was (keyword was) “one and done.” The funny part is we were fostering three children at one time for a little bit.

The doctor mentioned the hormone meds I would have to take and discussed the side effects of those. After the doctor’s visit my husband and I went home to decompress and process all the information. Prior to the last tests we took my doctor had me on metformin to help me ovulate. I tell you now that drug, to this day, I will call the devil drug. That medicine had me sick to stomach daily. They also had me on another medication (Clomid). I could only take Clomid for three months. Let’s just say I took it for two months and my husband begged me not to take it for the third month. I told my husband I didn’t feel like myself while I was on it, so we agreed for me not to take the third month.

After decompressing all the information, thinking long and hard about what our next plan of action was going to be and praying about it we decided that IFV was not for us. We started looking into private adoption. I researched, sent emails, and we eventually had a consultation with one of the best adoption attorneys in the state. We completed all of the paperwork, did the home study, started raising funds and saving like crazy, and started the waiting process.

During the time we were waiting on the private adoption list we went to an informational session in our town on foster care and adoption. During this session there were speakers that talked about their experience with foster care and talked about some of the children they fostered and some later adopted. While the speakers were talking there was a feeling that I honestly cannot describe. It was more like a calling. I felt something so deeply that I knew I had to talk to my husband about it.

Over the next couple of weeks we talked about foster care vs. private adoption and what we were both feeling at the time. Before that informational session I was completely against fostering. I mean how can you get attached to a child and then have the child leave your house to go back to their family. That is the purpose of fostering…reunification. That was actually my fear. I was afraid of loving these children so much and getting so attached that when the time came for them to leave it would be so heart wrenching. I have to say it was heart wrenching. Fostering is not for the weak of heart. I promise you will grow with your foster children if you journey into foster care.

We decided to follow what I felt was God’s plan for our future family. I’m just going to go on record and say that sometimes having faith and trusting God’s plan is not always easy. Believe me when I say you will be tested, but God provides what is necessary when you follow his plan and I promise you will grow from the experiences.

When we started the foster to adopt process we were excited, but nervous all at the same time. Our home received a license and within two weeks we had our first placement. We would have two more placements before our son and daughter would be placed with us. I will never tell you why our children were placed with us that is their story to tell, not mine, but one thing I do know is God’s timing is the right timing. We had these two sweet and completely opposite children for almost three years before we finally received an adoption date.

In that period of time we have been through a couple of counselors, battles with the school for additional help due to learning disabilities, numerous behavioral issues, ups and downs around visitation and talking through their experiences. However, through all of the tears and heartaches we have created so many sweet and wonderful memories with these two beautiful children.

Our daughter will start laughing for absolutely no reason. My son will make jokes and do some silly stuff just to make people laugh. Then in those sweet tender moments when they know my day hasn’t been so great they reciprocate what I have shown them. They give me a big hug and tell me they love me. My son will take my hand or arm and start lightly rubbing it and then whispers that he loves me. Even when we get into disagreements my son will come to me afterwards and say “Mom I know you yelled at me and I’m sorry for what I did, but I know you still love me.” I have also shown our son and daughter how my husband and I “secretly” tell each other how much we love the other. Try this with your husband or children. If you are holding their hand squeeze the other person’s hand 3 times for I love you, 4 times for I love you more, and 5 times for I love you big much. My son likes this sign of affection.

This day 1 year ago my husband, step-son, and I along with our two foster children and our support group were sitting in the court house for an adoption hearing. It was finally my foster babies adoption day! I cannot describe to you the feelings I had on that day. It all seemed surreal and I honestly could not believe it was finally happening. It was a day of tears of joy, laughter, and excitement. September 13th will always be a special day in our house. It’s the day God blessed us legally with our now son and daughter.

If you ask me what I am doing today I will tell you celebrating my babies and thanking God for my blessings. We had dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. We had a movie night and friends and family posted on Facebook how much they love our kids. After dinner I read these messages to the kids and showed them the pictures and videos.

To my kids Happy Gotcha Day! We will continue to celebrate everyday, but especially on 9/13 and as my son said this afternoon….I got you!